Philosophical Thoughts

• Me: We have bagels. Why don't we ever have any cream cheese?
• Dad: We have peanut butter. Use that. Peanut butter is like the poor man's cream cheese.

Things that turn girls off on online dating profiles…

“That whole ‘STD scare’ is just a media farce.  People need to just be more adventurous.”

Why would someone write that?  You must never want to get laid again.

“I will not be messaging WockaFlocka. Or Sexy4You. Or the guy who has a sonogram as his profile picture.”

Brit is getting the hang of this online dating thing. (via lookingforleeway)

Also, I almost blew off RedSoloCup11 but then he called me gorgeous.  I smell a winner (*Please note the sarcasm).

My life

• Me: My computer is frozen.
• Laura: OH NO! How are you going to finish your online dating profile?

The date…that wasn’t a date

Let me preface this story by saying I have no problem having guys as friends.  Aside from the select few girl friends I have that I love and adore I actually prefer guy friends a lot of the time.  But boy did I mis-read this one.

So I have kind of been chatting with this guy from one of my classes and he totally surprised me tonight by asking if I wanted to go get dinner.  I accepted.

We went to a pretty nice restaurant nearby, it wasn’t like it was just at the food court in the student center, so I thought that he was actually interested in me.  We were talking and laughing and I thought we were hitting it off.  Until he started talking about HIS GIRLFRIEND OF 3 YEARS!

I mean, really?  REALLY!!??  This dude has a girlfriend.  Of.  Three.  Years.

I know I’m not crazy.  I KNOW he was flirting with me.  So here I am all excited thinking I finally broke my dry spell of not being asked out in a million years - but no.  False alarm.

Things that piss me off…

Bitches that take my Lean Cuisine out of the microwave in the student center when it still has three minutes left to cook.

I walked ten feet away to grab a fork and some rude chick took my meal out of the microwave.

That is what I call Mean Cuisine.

Things I don’t get…

Guys (or girls, but especially guys) walking around in flip flops.

In pouring down rain.

In February.

I have been drinking this like it’s my job lately.  SOOOO good, I definitely recommend it to my tea-loving friends!

heyfunniest:

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(Source: aeun, via heyfunniest)